les petits poissons rouges

I hate cats.

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Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Currently reading: An Instance of The Fingerpost. Last movie: Being Julia. Listening to: L'ecole du Micro D'argent by IAM

Monday, July 10, 2006

I Dream Of....

The past few days have been spent in a sleepless stupor, no thanks to a restless mind as a result of working 13 hour days for 4 weeks. This time around neither the spirit nor the flesh is willing to work anymore. After about 3 weeks of tossing and turning in my sleep, going over measurements, paint charts and layouts, I had resigned myself to the fact that the nights of dreaming about mountain biking with 50 cent, driving a bus down a street with sharks or chopping my penis off were things of the past.

Until last night.

Without warning, I had one of the most eventful nights of my life. Forget Prospero's sentimental bullshit. THESE are the stuff that dreams are made of:

1) Marlboro 100 and I are in this Thai backpackers town that starts with a 'C', it looks like the city in Waterworld (that really appalling Kevin Costner movie). We're trying to secure a trip to either Bangkok or KL were we will catch a flight to Europe. We battle the crowds before deciding to check at an upscale resort. They have a boat to Bangkok for 19,400 baht and we take it. The guy hands us our travel itinerary, it's a single fold leaflet in comic book format. We hop the boast and suddenly everything looks like a comic strip. We're chugging down the river when suddenly a litle girl's pet monkey almost falls into the river. She lunges forward and manages to catch it by its hind legs, but it's too late. The moment the monkey's head touches the water, it's swarmed by piranhas who kill it, devouring all the flesh off its bones.

The next few a considerably shorter, only because I remember less of it.

2) I'm pregnant with what I think is Superman's baby. On the day of the paternity test, 2 supermen turn up, claiming that he's the father. To test paternity, I have to stand in this contraption that will tell me one of three things: Either I'm
a) not pregnant
b) pregnant with Superman's baby
c) pregnant with The Pope's baby
Anyway, before I have a chance to find out, the 2 Supermen are going at each other.

3) We're underwater creatures - basically human beings that can exist underwater. Someone has this idea of transferring some fish from the sea to our world (as we know it now). So we each pop a couple of mentos, which creates this vacuum effect - its sucks about 5 fishes up our nostrils and into our stomach, which acts like the storage unit. Next thing we know we're kneeling over a toilet bowl, trying to puke up the fishes - only thing is,we failed to remember that THESE fishes bite - so as they're coming up, they're clinging onto our tongues. Not pleasant.

4) Sherbert was left in the office and when we return to the office she has given birth to 2 puppies. Details are fuzzy on this one, but it involves taking a cat to the vet and arranging a feeding schedule for the puppies.

I need a break from sleeping.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Oh Lord, won't you buy me...

....a Mercedes-Benz and a big fat gun. Because all newscasters on Malaysian radio should be shot. Isn't it funny how whenever the news comes on radio it always sounds like some indistinguishable babble that drones on in the background, that is until a mispronnounciation (or several) turns the indistinguishable babble into jarring noise. Isn't there some kind of spoken-English prerequisite for newscasters? Shouldn't they, before they step up to mic know that mediocre is not "media-core" , loot is not "lewd" and coup is not "coop"?

"Gloria Macapagal Arroyo has successfully prevented a coop on her government." has very different connotations..I see enraged opposition supporters rushing towards the presedential palace with chicken wire, waiting for the right moment to coop them in. Scary. Although I do enjoy a bit of Animal Farm with my politics...oh, but wait, that's a given.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Twiddle-dee

I know I haven't updated in ages, but work has pretty much taken up all my free time. After, of course rushing publicity materials for a certain production at the workplace, I was casually informed that said production has been postponed to next year. "*&!*@^#&@(*#)(*!!" The whole incident encapsulates my working environment - everyone does their own thing, complete transparency is expected from the employees but none is given by the bosses. I'm really annoyed, because as soon as decision was made, it should have been immediately conveyed to the people working to make it happen, not the next day, or the day after. Gah. Hopefully if all goes to plan, I won't be around for the production next year!

Last night I saw something that had me seriously reconsidering whether to ever valet my car again. I was sitting outside Paddington House of Pancakes, waiting for Mayomi, (who is now the new senior marketing exec at Channel [V]..congratulations!!) at a table right next to the valet counter. So car pulls up, driver exits and the jockey graciously hops into the driver's seat and proceeds to.....pick his nose!! And I'm not even talking about pinkie-scraping picking. This was like index finger rammed up the nostril digging. I was so grossed out. I never valet at Hartamas Shopping Centre anyway, but then I started thinking about the times I have valeted elsewhere and what sort of hidden treasures I have smeared on my steering wheel. Ick!

I want a pair of red pumps.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Going to The Movies.


Ultraviolet: Botox Nation

Ok, so this past week I went to see 2 movies, which just about fulfils my movie quota for the month, sad, I know, but I don't really have the time. Anyway, the first picking was Ultraviolet, yet another one of those 'adapted-from-the-comic' movies. Generally it was okayyy. I was perfectly content staring at Milla pantene-perfect tresses throughout the entire movie. Anyway, the movie should have been re-titled Ultraviolet: Botox Nation. It was so heavily photo-shopped I felt like I was watching a Manga soap opera. The screenplay (you really had to squint to notice that there was dialogue)...well, there were as many wrinkles as there were spoken word...

(Milla leaps with the dexterity of a thousand cats, decapitating & castrating a thousand evil men..*doof* *doof* *znnnngg* *bish* "uhh!" *thump* *thump* *swish of perfect hair* *ziing* *rat-tat-tat (machine gun fire)* *bang! *bang!*)

"I have recovered the package"

(Milla gets chased by helicopter with big guns. She zips from rooftop to rooftop on her motocycle with the dexterity of a thousand gila monsters, *zoooooom* *zoooooom* *bang* *bang* *KABOOM!* *ping!* *crash!* *dust*)

"But...the package is just a boy"

(Milla escapes from fellow hemophages, running down staircases with the dexterity of a thousand milipedes. *doof* *doof* *znnnngg* *bish* "uhh!" *thump* *thump* *swish of perfect hair* *ziing* *rat-tat-tat (machine gun fire)* *bang! *bang!*)

"I have to save the little boy"

................

Actions speak louder than words, I suppose. But what if the action has nothing to do with the words? Anyway, in the end? A mediocore effort, with it's only saving grace? Milla's pantene tresses. I want them.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Soundtrack to My Life?

Tagged my Maya. I can't decide whether it's eerily perceptive or relatedly predictable. I think I'm going with eerily perceptive. There's too much reality in Life. Step 1: Put your ipod on shuffle mode. Step 2: Ask yourself these questions Step 3:See what song titles come up in response to your questions...Here goes..

1) How does the world see me?
Conceptions - 4Hero
It's instrumental and wonderfully ambiguous.

2) Will I have a happy life?
Song For The Dumped - Ben Folds Five
"So you wanted to take a break, Slow it down some and have some space. Well fuck you too. Give me my money back, Give me my money back..you bitch. I want my money back
(And don't forget to give me back my black T-Shirt)."
So I guess the answer to my question is ... no.

3) What do people really think of me?
Taylor - Jack Johnson
"she just wanders around, unaffected by the winter winds, and she'll pretend that she's somewhere else, so far and clear, about two thousand miles from here.."

4) Do people secretly lust after me?
Cater 2 U - Destiny's Child
"Let me feed you, Let me run your bathwater, Whatever you desire, I'll squire..." Well, if that's any indication of what people want to do to me...Where do I sign?

5) How can I make myself happy?
Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald
"One of these mornings, You're going to rise up singing, Then you'll spread your wings, And you'll take to the sky..But till that morning, There's a'nothing can harm you, With daddy and mamma standing by.."

6) What should I do with my life?
Superunknown - Soundgarden
I think the song title speaks for itself.

7) What would be good advice for me?
Brown Eyed Girl - The Rolling Stones
"Laughing and a running hey, hey, Skipping and a jumping, In the misty morning fog with, Our hearts a thumpin' and you, My brown eyed girl,You my brown eyed girl."

8) What do i think my current theme song is?
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
"Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right..Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter..Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun..and I say it's all right." This song brings tears to my eyes. I love it.


9) What does everyone think my current theme song is?
Smoke Two Joints - Sublime
"Errrrr....."

10) What song will play at my funeral?
Time Keeps on Slipping - Del The Funky Homosapien
"I remake my universe every time I use a verse, To fulfill my destiny, emcees rest in peace, Side barriers provide care within, From impurities every word sees your attention like third degree, I subjugate you other fake performers while the bass of your face."

11) What type of men do you like?
Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre - Carla Bruni
"Quand tu es près de moi, Cette chambre n'a plus de parois, Mais des arbres oui, des arbres infinis, Et quand tu es tellement près de moi.." The type that make walls disappear. :)

12) What's my day going to be like?
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
I guess the song could not be more specific. I'll be staring at my phone all day.

13) Why am I here?
Every Breath You Take - Police
"Every little thing she does is magic..Everything she do just turns me on"

14) What will people remember me for?
More Than A Woman - Angie Stone
"You're the blood in my veins, You're the air I breathe on a hot summer day, You're like a shirt with no sleeves, What makes me a man, any fool could see, Youhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif're more than a woman to me.." Yes. I'd like to be remembered as a tank top. :P

15) Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Sexual Healing - Ben Harper
That's just creepy. Yes, take me away and heal my wounds with sex. NOW.

16) What will this year be about?
Crucify - Tori Amos
"Why do we crucify ourselves, Everyday I crucify myself, Nothing I do is good enough for you, Crucify myself, Everyday I crucify myself, And my heart is sick of being in chains..."

So there you go, some eerily accurate, some completely nonsensical. I tag Regina-George, Burger Queen, &